I’m guessing you’ve heard the song ‘Let it go’, from the Disney film ‘Frozen’ by now. If you’ve been in hiding, don’t worry I’ll use a few of the lyrics in this blog to keep you in the loop. I’m not usually one for this type of music, but this one has really resonated with me. Yes, it’s cheesy and yes it’s from a kid’s film but the words are surprisingly powerful. It’s actually become a mantra for me that I sing in my head, for example when I’m driving and someone cuts me up, when I’m ‘perfecting’ a piece of writing or when I catch myself mulling over a past event or hurtful conversation.
The lyrics in this song remind me of some of the things I teach my clients about letting go and allowing themselves to be free.
Changing our behaviour and moving on can hurt and feel uncomfortable, we are creatures of habit, and we feel safe when we do things that are familiar. That’s often why people who want to change something or do something different in their lives take months (or years) before they do anything about it. It’s useful to understand why we hold onto things, even when they are creating unhappiness and pain, and it’s helpful to think about what we need to let go of, so we are free to move onto better things.
Here’s 3 things to let go of…
1) Let go of your past
‘I’m never going back, the past is in the past’
Letting go doesn’t mean giving up, it doesn’t mean it never happened, it means letting go of the struggle. For many of us it means forgiving. Most of us resist the idea of forgiveness because we believe that forgiving means condoning the hurtful behaviour, but this isn’t the case. Carrying around with you resentment and anger from things that happened in your past is toxic for you. It weighs you down. It’s like carrying a big heavy rucksack, reminding you of the pain, making you struggle, preventing you from moving forward, from living your life. We all have ‘baggage’, and it’s up to us to check in how much we are willing to keep carrying around, or to choose to lighten the load and free ourselves towards a better future.
2) Let go of your limiting beliefs
‘The fears that once controlled me can’t get to me at all’
We all have beliefs about who we think we are and our view of the world. We generally have learnt these as a child and they develop as we experience life. For many of us, we have beliefs that don’t serve us. By that I mean, they’re not helpful and ultimately they hold us back from being truly happy. Many of us hold the belief that we are not ‘good enough’. A good enough mum, wife, dad, writer, friend, (the list goes on).
Start to become aware of your own limiting beliefs, often we distort information to support the limiting belief. Look for alternatives to any limiting beliefs you may hold and begin to challenge them by looking for examples that you are ‘good enough’.
3) Let go of your need to be perfect.
‘The perfect girl is gone’
Now this is one that is constant work in progress for me and it’s probably one of the hardest for most of my clients. It often comes down to our deepest fear of being loved.
Living a happy and fulfilling life isn’t about being perfect, it’s learning about yourself and accepting who you are. It’s about being courageous enough to let go of the past and move onto a brighter future.
I’ll finish with this line in the song that I love:
‘It’s time to see what I can do, to test the limits and break through, no right, no wrong, no rules for me I’m free! ’
Over to you..
What is it time to let go of in your life right now? What is holding on to this costing you? What pain is it causing you? How is it impacting on the relationships most important to you?
How would it feel to finally let go of this? What would life be like if you weren’t carrying around this with you anymore? Take some time today to reflect and think about something you know you’ve been holding onto for too long.
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love & laughter